noticed that,
alongside a rather randomly applied recipe for Rich Rice Pudding,
the manufacturers of the matches I was using (the oddly named Swedish Match UK)
had chosen to emblazon their product with a scary picture of a tiny, horrified
looking stick-child in the early stages of (presumably) accidental self-immolation. "Danger!
Fire kills children" read the slogan, seemingly oblivious to the adjacent
suffering. The seeds of obsession were sown.
Following shortly on from that, a
trip to the garden centre in our village revealed another
stick man, this time
about to be squished under a toppling stone garden ornament. With that, the
obsession was born, kicking and squealing as it was squashed and burned. Oddly,
at the same garden centre was a strangely unsettling picture of a hosepipe,
presumably rendered so as to resemble a snake. It looked like the sort of thing
that might live in Stick-Australia, biting the legs of unwary stick men as they
wandered through the bush.
Firstly I spotted
a stickman at our local branch of B&Q, in the process of being crushed even
flatter than he already is by toppling boxes from a badly stacked shelf. Not
long after, Deb emailed me to say that a Coke dispensing machine in her office
had a picture of a stick man "pulling a vending machine on top of himself". And
I do recall some years ago at Wheal Towan in Cornwall, seeing a picture of yet
another stick man falling down a mineshaft...poor souls. Currently I find myself
keeping an eye out for the poor old stickmen, protecting us from our own
stupidity by sacrificing themselves. I haven't got any photographs of the
vending machine man, or the shelf man, or indeed the mineshaft man, but given
enough time, I'll add them to the jolly gathering of cartoon death. For those
who simply can't wait to see any more - here's a gallery for your sick
gratification.
When Will it End?
This one's pretty mild as obsessions go, and I'm anticipating it'll come to an
end before too long.
Loose Ends
The following loose ends still remain.
If you can answer them, please
contact me.
Play Along at Home
Well obviously it's pretty easy - check out the back of the nearest matchbox.
And keep your eyes open. Stick man mishaps are everywhere.
