What?
 The unpleasant, sneaking, suspicion that talking toy dispensers and animated mannequins contain trapped souls.

When?
c.1989 -

Why?
These things are so seriously creepy, I reckon there's definitely got to be some sort of malevolent life force in there somewhere.

What happened?
I can't remember exactly how this one got started, but it relates to the sort of thing you might see in the window of a cobbler's shop - a grimacing two foot homunculus hammering on the sole of a plaster shoe with a sort of grim determination. Sometimes butcher's shops have them too, this time endlessly whacking a fake pork chop with a rubber cleaver. Consider the picture to the left - this particularly grotesque example was unearthed in the town of Concarneu in Brittany. His arms waving vaguely around, right leg twitching up and down, gazing at a half made pot for all time. My theory is that this sort of thing is where you end up if you're really bad in this life. I believe that once you're trapped in there, that's where you stay until the object is destroyed.
There are other examples of these cursed objects all around us. Have a look at  the battered cloth rabbit shown to the right. Currently living in Hessle, near Hull, this thing spends its days trapped inside a stuffy plastic box, muttering platitudes and odd remarks to passers by, in an attempt to sell them rubbish toys in plastic eggs. The only thing I've ever been able to make out is "I bet you'd like a bite of my nice juicy carrot". Imagine having to say that for eternity. Once you realise the nature of these objects, you'll suddenly see them everywhere - shabby seaside promenades are particularly rich hunting grounds. Next time you pass one, take a close look, and you might just be able to see the desperation in its plastic eyes.

When Will it End?
 Probably never. Unless the people of the world see sense and burn all the hideous things on a big bonfire one night. Not that I'm condoning arson by the way.

Loose Ends
The following loose ends still remain. If you can answer them, please contact me.


Play Along at Home
It's easy to join in at home - these things are everywhere. If you'd like to pay a visit to the two examples above, you can find the freakish pot man on the high street of the old walled section of the town of Concarneu, on the south-west coast of Brittany. He's half way up the single street, on the right hand side. You can't miss him, though you may wish you had.
The rabbit is to be found on Prestongate in Hessle, near Hull. Taking the A63 into Hull, come off at the Humber Bridge exit. Follow signs into Hessle town centre and park in the square. The rabbit is about thirty yards up Prestongate, on the right. I think it belongs to a charity shop.